Why I Stop Blaming Them by Tobiloba Emmanuel

by - 6:33 AM

He was one of those adults, we looked up to while growing up. My love for him grew the day he helped me solve my mathematics assignment without punching calculator.
Three days ago, we were engaged in a discourse. Thanks to Tim Hindle's 'Guide to Management Ideas and Gurus' tucked in my armpit. He discussed books he had read since the year began. One thing I wasn't proud of while growing up is that I didnt get to read books. He felt sorry, as he registered his regret by piercing into my eye balls. He encouraged me to be closer to God and make books my greatest asset and companion, he said with a brilliant raconteur.
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We were in the middle of our discussion about Manchester United's recent success, when a rambunctious young lady passed by. Her energy content as at when she passed would supervene that of glucose. He laughed and narrated to me how the parents of the young girl abandoned her and left her to be a night crawler better pronounced 'olósó' where I come from.
The girl moves from roof to roof looking for who to 'service' her, according to him.
The girl's parents negligence, made him recall his parents negligence too, and how he vowed never to blame them again.
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'My parents gave birth to many children' he said in a sorry tone. The only help they could do for us was to see us through secondary school. They cared less about us furthering our schooling, he complained further. They preferred to buy the latest cloth and forget about our well-being or education ( instant gratification, is what characterized them better). 'I sat for years blaming them for my misfortunes but it changed nothing,' he said with noticeable trembling in his voice.
The explained how he woke up from his slumber. He parlayed a small amount by hawking satchet water, which he used to see himself through higher learning. Even, when their mother can't go a weekend without buying 'aso-ebí'. Poverty was utterly part of his quotidian experience, but he wouldn't give up until he got what he wanted.
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My take home for the day were much, as I kept his advice jealously in my heart. But this stood out among all. "I stopped blaming them(his parents) for my misfortune, even when it was obvious they failed in their parenting. Blaming them wouldn't do anything but compound my woes. I learned from them the hardest way, how its good to take responsibility of one's life and control birth, by giving birth to the number of kids one knows he can cater for.
The first institution of Education, is the family. When the family fails in her responsibility(s) the school or society can do nothing! I learnt  things I was meant to know as a young boy late, but it was never too late! My kids will never suffer that" he rounded off our discourse with, "Tobi, never marry a woman that doesn't complement your purpose".
-E.T

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